Being Gay in a Straight Relationship

Have you ever felt like part of your life was covered up in a mask and was simply hidden away from you just by living your everyday life?

That’s what it feels like to me to identify as a ‘gay’ woman who has fallen in love with a man.

I accepted myself for who I was way back in my early school days when I used to have my barbies get married and hanging out with the guys was easier because the girls made me all shy and awkward. I didn’t know anything about being gay or bisexual, but I knew both men and women were pretty and I very easily developed crushes on both of them. My very first kiss was with a girl in middle school and even though that’s all it took for her to know she didn’t like kissing other girls, it never quite left me.

When I was in high school I joined my first Gay-Straight Alliance club in freshman year and had my first kiss with a boy on the bus. I giggled and turned red and felt that same bit of spark as I did when I kissed that girl a year or so prior.

Throughout high school, I still had crushes on both boys and girls and dated both boys and girls, plus one who identified as nonbinary even though it wasn’t a common or talked about thing at the time and I was proud of my bisexuality.

I never had a big coming out to my parents, I just simply talked about girls as…